Monday, December 15, 2008

TMI much?

After the last Tuesday night where I got pretty hammered I decided to watch myself and take it easy the next couple of Tuesday nights.

After being around your neighbors a lot you tend to get to know them much more then you really should. For instance we got to know Tony and Gina really well. If you look at the photo of the overhead of our subdivision you can see the court where my house is. It is the second house on the left, in the court. Tony and Gina are the third house on the left in the court. The time we were out drinking last week it came out that they had meet in church (no problem there) and had dated for a couple of years before getting married. Then they went on to tell us how in those 2 1/2 years they were dating they NEVER KISSED. In fact the first kiss they shared was when the minister said "You may now kiss the bride."

As you could imagine there was a chorus of "WHAT!!!!!!!!!!" from around the circle. Total shock. Many people said "Bullshit" and "No-way" but the look on their faces told me they were not joking around. As more and more drinks were poured Gina kept telling more and more wild stories about their sexual relationship. How Tony liked his ass played with, and how she wishes he was bigger and would lose his gut so she could get some anal. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I looked over at Kay and her mouth was agape in disbelief.

We had known these people for all of 2 freaking days and I already knew Tony preferred to have a vibrating dildo...where no man should have a vibrating ANYTHING. I guess they were a match made in Heaven.

Another story involved how their sex swing broke at the old house because Gina was swinging to hard. Or how she bought a pocket pussy for Tony when he went away for work...MOLDED FROM HER VAGINA.

I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow night. Stay tuned.


Sarea said...

LMAO . . .Holy crap!! Maybe waiting until your married to have sex/even kiss equals no inhibition sex!!!!

E said...

Can't wait till next Summer's stories.

kittyrex said...

I think it's worth contributing to your morning after hangover regime costs, just to hear these stories!